A legacy of Skincare: My Mother’s Gift

One this Mother’s Day, I think of the many lessons the most important women in my life taught me. My grandmother, and and my mother.

As I look in the mirror I can see parts of their face in my face as I age. One of the many things they left to me; a legacy of skincare.

Childhood Memories

I have always loved skin care. As a child, my brother and I spent a lot of time with my grandparents because my single mother, a RN at a local hospital, worked long hours and she wanted a responsible adult to watch us.

My grandfather was the pastor of a church not far from the house, and my grandmother, of course, the pastor’s wife. On Saturday evenings after Hee-Haw and Lawrence Welk she would begin to get her clothes ready for church the next day.

Then, she began her nightly skin routine. The same one she did every night, and not very different from her daytime skin routine.

My grandmother’s skincare routine consisted of her washing her face with bar soap, patted it dry with a soft towel, and at night slathered her face with Pond’s Cold Cream; in the morning, it was Oil of Olay.

When she was out of either, someone in the house that could drive; she never had a license, had to go to the store to get her more.

It was a necessity. It was non-negotiable.

Her skin was beautiful, clear, and smooth like satin. She only wore makeup on Sundays to church which consisted of Coty Airspun Powder applied with a red round sponge and a little red lipstick. That’s it.

My mother’s skin was just as beautiful. She never really wore makeup. A little lipstick from time to time, and maybe a little pencil to darken up her eyebrows. That’s it.

People often took my mother and my grandmother to be a solid 20 years or more younger than they really were because they looked so young.

So, I guess you could say, taking care of my skin, well, I got it honest.

Middle School Mayhem

By the time I reached middle school, particularly 8^th grade, all of my friends were wearing makeup and I wanted too as well. My mother didn’t tell me no. But regular old drugstore makeup was out of the question.

She took me straight to the department store, to the Clinique counter to be exact, and had them match up my colors and show me how to apply it.

Not a lot of 13-year-olds in the early 80s wearing makeup from the Clinique counter. But that was my mom, only the best for me.

If I was going to wear it, it had to be the best, and it had to be worn right. After all it was my skin. I had to take care of it.

High School Hijinks

In high school in 10th or 11^th grade I started to get occasional pimples. Nothing horrible but coming from a family of women with beautiful problem free skin, I didn’t like it all.

I talked to my mother, and she took me right to the dermatologist.

She said are not going to be experimenting with your face. I know several doctors at the hospital, we’ll make an appointment. They gave me a topical prescription. Whenever pimples popped up, I started on my cream for a few days, and they were gone.

Another crucial element of good skincare; have your go to dermatologist.

I still go once a year, even now at 54, to make sure I keep up with the latest and greatest creams, or prescriptions to keep my skin looking top notch.

College Crux

I graduated from high school, went to college graduated, and then went right back the following fall to earn my master’s degree.

Not one to mess around, I was on track to finish an entire degree in 12 months. With the stress of graduate school came the pimples.

I had stopped using my prescription by now, for no reason other than laziness. Knowing what I had been taught I quickly made an appointment with my dermatologist.

Thank goodness, I was still on my dad’s very good insurance. Thanks daddy, I miss you.

The doctor gave me something called Retin-A. Ever heard of it? Back then there was no off use for wrinkles, just pimples. And, if I got a pimple that wouldn’t pop, it was just red and inflamed, I went to my doc and got a cortisone injection in the pimple and the next day it was gone.

I later switched over to Retin-A Micro and continued to use it for many years. Perhaps it contributed to my youthful face? Maybe a little. But I give most of the credit to genetics.

And to my grandma, thanks for teaching me, without knowing that you were, that self-care; taking care of my skin, is non-negotiable. I miss you.

On the Other Side

Now that I am well into my 50s and skincare is all the rage, I think of those early lessons I learned from my grandmother and my mom about taking care of my skin.

I have never smoked, and only drink socially when out with my husband or friends which equates to maybe two drinks every two months?

I exercise gently, brisk walking, light weight training. Do I drink enough water, or get enough sleep all the time? Of course not.

But I always take time to wash my face twice a day. Apply essential oils or a prescription cream at night. During the day, always sunscreen and moisturizer.

After retiring from my law enforcement career, I now teach middle school. Please pray for me!

With these guys you have to stay on your game at all times. I mostly just wear a little face powder, nude lip gloss, and curl my eyelashes.

Pretty close to my grandmother’s get ready with me routine. And though it’s not a lot, it makes me feel like I did something.

Today I think they call it the no makeup, makeup look. My eyebrows are micro bladed because they never really grew back fully after the modeling school overplucked them.

Yes, my mother sent me to modeling school as a teen to learn proper makeup application, how to dress, walk, and other things necessary to compete in pageants, and some local modeling.

Shout out to Barbizon Modeling School.

My middle school kids keep asking to see my driver’s license. They swear I’m lying when I tell them how old I am. They thought I was in my 30s And I don’t think they said that trying to improve their grades.

It would take way more than a compliment to gloss over the fact that some of my 7^th graders are reading on a 2^nd or 3^rd grade level! A discussion for another day, another post.

It’s So Hard To Say Goodbye

I lost my mother in December of 2020. She had been suffering from dementia that slowly worsened over the years, but especially noticeable after my brother’s untimely passing in 2012.

Up until the year before she passed, she was at home. When it was no longer safe for her to be alone, I moved her to an assisted living facility.

The last few weeks I visited her more often than ever before. We talked about old times a lot, as she remembered those well. It was the short-term memory that was the issue.

The last time I saw her she held my hand tight. We talked, she might forget, but I would just remind her what we were discussing. She asked me what my name was and that’s when I knew for certain this was it.

I cried.

She told me not to cry because it was going to be ok.  She said, “I’m ready”. I told her I know, but I’m going to miss you. My eyes were filled with tears.

But, through the tears, I saw her face, even at 93, still not a wrinkle in sight, and her skin was so smooth and clear. I kept touching her face, it was so soft.

She was so calm, so beautiful, so at peace. She continued to squeeze my other hand.

Three days later I got the call that said she was gone. I miss you mommy.

Lifelong Learner

The lessons my mother taught me about life, how to treat people, how to respect and care for myself, will always be with me.

When I look in the mirror I see her, I see my grandmother, I see the results of what taking care of yourself, and your skin can look like.

I have taught my daughter the same. I even trained my son in the habits of self-care which includes taking care of your mind, your body and yes great skincare.

It wasn’t something I learned overnight, but years of following a solid routine.

People always ask me to tell them my secret. I laugh. I don’t know if you want to do what I do to take care of my skin I always say. It takes time, and a lot of dedication.

Especially on those days when all you want to do is sleep.

But you drag your tired body into the bathroom, because you know you will be upset with yourself if you don’t wash your face and apply some type of cream or serum before you fall into bed exhausted.

I NEVER take a day off from taking care of my skin. Your face is the first thing people see. It’s not always about who is the prettiest. But great skin, the kind that looks plump, hydrated, like glass; is the envy of many.

It’s never too late to start. You can have the skin of your dreams and it doesn’t have to cost you a fortune. But it may take some trial and error. Why?

Because everyone’s skin is different, contrary to what you see on social media, there are no one size fits all solutions to great skin.

Patience is key as you figure out what works best for your skin.

Learn to embrace not just a legacy of skincare, but also wellness and respect for yourself.

Why?

Because sometimes the best beauty secrets are the ones passed down through generations.

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